KeishaOslyn

My Hair

Unofficially, its been seven months since I started this growth process. I make a habit of not combing my hair unless I’m washing/co-washing it, but I do go through it with an afro-pick. Apparently I haven’t been doing a great job. My mom along with several of her friends have asked if I’m loc-ing my hair. Um, perhaps in the future, but not at the moment. Rude!

My Mother

So, my mom and I were on the train, on our way to Queens, when she sees a guy in a pair of Prada boots/sneakers/whatever. She says, “Those are nice, I think I’ll get a pair for your brother.” I give my mother that look like woman, what? “Mom, since when do we have money to buy a boy who outgrows clothes and shoes within seconds a pair of Prada boots/shoes/whatever.”

My mother, smh.

I started watching Misfits

Needless to say, I’m very confused.

Working on Something Called Letters to My Father

The idea came to me over the weekend. I think it will be both therapeutic and insightful, well at least for me.

Tired of living and waiting for my life to start. Today that life begins, I’m done waiting.

Jesus, Tequila, and Yoga

I’ve been really good about being positive. I’ve been celebrating each little thing, and trying not to fall apart over the hiccups, but for this hiccup I’m going to need Jesus, a shot or two of Jose Cuervo, and some really intense yoga positions. I think I can cover two of those, one will have to wait until the weekend.

The Moment I’m All Alone and All is Still I start to Crumble

I am finally “officially” registered for Spring 2012. I have no problem saying that since it miraculously spread got that I was not. I applaud the people who have taken interest in my otherwise mundane life. Cookie? Let me stop bitching lol. Umm, so classes are officially underway, papers, assignments, depression. I can’t figure out whats at the root of these feelings but I’ve been spiraling around a dark place recently. I can’t wear anything but black, which I just realized, and I can’t just be happy, its like there is always something else. Maybe its the gangster rap I’ve been listening to recently but I can’t. I try to be sociable, get outside of my head, but the moment I’m alone and all is still I start to crumble.

In other news, remember the person who decided to call me and tell me that people have been talking. According to him its all in my head, but it came down to “Lose my number, forget my existence…if you see me in the streets keep walking.” But just the presence of this individual is enough to set me off. My face turned red, it was hard to breathe, I had to leave the room. I had to run. If I don’t pick up chain smoking in the near future, I’m going to have to spend a lot of time in the gym just pounding out my frustration on the treadmill.

Hope the third week of school is going better for you!

Life

I swear to you that I meet the wildest characters and have the hardest time shaking them. Why does this individual find it necessary to try to meet in person to discuss what people say about me and offer his “support”? Hasn’t he gotten the hint from unanswered texts and calls that I don’t care what he has to say and with all my problems what would I be doing caring what others say. I live my life dude and “who gone check me boo.” Sorry had to say it lol.

Totally stressed.

Classes start in a week, I’m not registered. This happens every semester…last spring semester I couldn’t register until 2 weeks into the semester that I spent the entire semester paying for that in sleepless night, tears, and hours spent in the TECH center. I really wish my finances were different…time to pray for miracles and understanding professors.

Passionate about the inanimate, I run from the tangible.

Seriously?

I haven’t been able to sleep so far this year. I’ve spent hours going over my life, the path I’m on, the path I want to be on, my family, the person I’ve become, the people I associate with, the people who need to be booted real quick, dinner, my hair, San Fran, and the ridiculous list goes on and on.

I usually go through something similar during break, but this time its really bad. During my time off of university I spend a lot of the break self-reflecting and realigning both myself and my goals. But this is madness. I need sleep, and I feel like I’m going insane. I think 2011 was so full of shit that there’s more to evaluate.

Perseverance

While I refuse to make any resolutions, nor will I reflect on the past year, I do that almost every day, I will share this much: right now I’m watching Psych with my siblings, eating cinnamon rolls and just lounging. While I’m happy with the directions I’m moving in, I am hoping that things get a lot better in the next year. These past two years have been HARD, and from the looks of it, the year is going to be even harder. Perseverance, determination, belief, and hope will get me through another year. Happy holidays, and be safe.

Typical Caribbean Household

This morning I woke up to the sound of yelling, my mother and my brother, trying to get my brother’s room clean. After venturing downstairs, I found that majority of the house is sparkling. My parents are preparing for New Years day…they usually go all out on Old Years day, making sure that everything is in place to bring in the new year. I think my dad pressed and washed over 40 work shirts last night…